Question by Shy: What chances do I have of success or a life as a 49 yr.old woman with a bad background record.?
I am a recovering (sober) alcoholic with a negative background record- go figure! I made poor choices due to past substance abuse. Was also bad at choosing boyfriends (result of abusive childhood) whom implicated me in their crimes. It looks as if “I” committed the crimes in the arrest record. Now that I am sober; what chance do i have of success or of making a decent friend or boyfriend since my past dirty laundry is public? I’m really not how it looks like I am.

Best answer:

Answer by Fox
You are going to have to work hard and face a lot of rejection, but you can do it.

The first thing is to own up and take responsibility for your past. If you are asked about it by an employer or someone you are meeting for the first time, don’t get into a long story or start blaming drugs, abuse, or ex-boyfriends. It doesn’t matter that it’s true–it’s not what people want to hear. They want to hear that you are past it and in control of your life. Simply say, “I made some poor decisions in the past, and I live with those mistakes every day, but now I am a different person who is committed to moving forward with her life.” Redirect the conversation in a positive manner by pointing out something you’re good at or like to do and how that would benefit or complement the person you are talking to.

The second thing is to always offer the minimum amount of information necessary to answer the question. For example, if someone asks why you were arrested for X, tell them in ONE truthful sentence even if it sounds totally obvious (e.g., “I was arrested for a DUI because I drank too much and made the poor decision not to call a cab.” or “I was arrested for possession because I had drugs in my purse.” and then say, “It happened, but that was several years ago, and I am glad because in the long run it helped me get my life back.” Then change the subject in a positive way. Don’t give them a long, drawn out story with all the gory details or excuses or they will just judge you on whatever you tell them.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!