Question by Gwen: How do you tell your parents you’re a sex addict?
I am a sex addict. It’s destroying my relationships with friends and lovers. It’s become harmful to my everyday existence. I am in college at school where the relationship of males to females is 120:1. I am a 1. It’s really starting to get out of control. I am told by my peers frequently that my behavior has gotten way out of hand. I’d like to practice celibacy, to be obedient to God, but it’s so hard undo 7 years of sin. I’d love to seek out counseling or assistance, but I simply cannot with my meager, college student finances. So, that leaves me to have to get the parents in on this one to help me out. How am I supposed to go about telling my folks their little girl is a self-destructive sex-addict!!?? Any advice?
In addition, this is not something I feel comfortable with bringing up with any of my pastors. My student advisors recommended that I find a counselor/doctor with a sliding scale; even those are out of my price range.

Best answer:

Answer by michele
Fortunately, the majority of colleges have university counseling centers. I suggest you consider seeking services there first. After you’ve been in therapy for awhile, you can talk with your therapist about the advisability (or not) of sharing this aspect of your life with your parents.

In addition, it is vital that you get involved with a church group that can help you sort out the spiritual aspects of this condition. The following link can help get you started:

http://www.christianrecovery.com/dox/links/pages/Addictions/Sexual_Addiction/

“Out of the Shadows” is an excellent book addressing this issue. I encourage you to go to your college library and pick up a copy. If they don’t have it, get it via inter library loan. It’s worth the wait.

One other free resource for you to consider is attending ANY local 12-step type program. Sexual addiction (like any other) is often amenable to a 12-step type treatment approach.

In Christ,
~M~

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Question by heshootscocacola: CAN SOME ONE TELL ME WHAT THE CANDEO RECOVERY TOOLS FOR SEXUAL ADDICTION ARE?
I done have the 200$ to spend on the full version and would really appreciate someone telling me what these “recovery tools” that should be used daily to avoid masturbation while still having a healthy sex drive are? PLEASE!

Best answer:

Answer by oruboris
I see you can take a free mini-course from them, why not try that and see how you like it?

I have to say, I’m a skeptic. Porn, sex, masturbation are all voluntary behaviors, far less addictive than tobacco, which thousands of people quit cold turkey every day.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Question by Billy: What to expect next with friends serious sexual addiction?
My friends sexual addiction is so out of hand. He is up on the intenet all night on manhunt or adam4adam. It is not unusual for him to be with two or three different people a day. When he is not with some one he is looking. It is ruining all of our lives. He won’t admit to the problem It’s getting worse and worse. He cannot support himself sandy more. Along with this he is addicted to crystal. What should we expect next. We cannot afford counseling. I am in orange county California. And can anyone offer advice?

Best answer:

Answer by Nels N
There are free counseling services and programs. Sometimes schools or churches will have someone with experience in your type of problem for free. Like everything though, less money means less options. I’ve heard that ‘The Dream Center” in LA does a lot of good social work type things. It is associated with the Assemblies of God, but their focus is on helping people. I know this is a distance away, but maybe you could call them and they would know of someone in your area.

As for you, make sure you don’t get sucked into his drama. Sex addiction is bad enough, but throw in the legal and medical problems that come with drugs, and things can get out of control in the blink of an eye. Protect yourself.

He already has the one thing that really matters, and that is a friend that cares. I hope you’re able to help him, but remember that it is almost impossible to help someone who refuses to acknowledge a problem. Be there to help him pick up the pieces, but he may have to hit bottom before he realizes there is a problem. I’ll be praying for you and your friend.

What do you think? Answer below!

For people who are looking assistance in sex addiction, there are several kinds of available treatment programs that are being offered all across the globe. However, one should be very careful when choosing the best agency regarding this condition as being a sex addict is one of the most confidential and fragile state of a person. Some of the most common effective form of treatment is with the use of chemicals and other medications and there are also other recovery programs that assist patients with outmost understanding and provide real advices for the person to follow.

Some of the things that need to be asked when choosing the right treatment program for sex addiction include the following:

What are the groups that are catering these issues?
How many percentages of the therapy program will be merely focused on compulsiveness and sexual addiction?
What are the experiences of the staff that facilitates the program or groups for compulsiveness and sexual addiction?
Are there appropriate methods such as the 12-step philosophy that are being put into action?

Aside from the questions that one needs to ask, there are other components that should be considered in looking for the right treatment program. There should be a separate group that will allow couples to work on issues on their relationship that are more intimate. There should be proper education and giving out information regarding sexual addiction as well as compulsiveness in order to clarify misconceptions on the greatly misunderstood behaviors. It is essential for the program that includes a therapeutic relationship between the family and the patient. The staff should be trained enough to be understand each family member’s vulnerability regarding this issue. Family members should also be provided with the various symptoms and behaviors that show the possibility of obtaining this kind of situation.

Studies have shown that majority of patients become sex addicts due to the influence of drugs and alcohol that is why recovery programs should have drug and alcohol treatment programs as well in order to resolve the root cause of the problem. However, the main difference between alcohol or drug treatment from sexual addiction recovery is that the latter is not considered as a lifelong abstinence. Sexual abstinence is required during the time of the treatment that will usually last for 60 to 90 days. This self-abstinence from any sexual activities will enable a person know the certain factors that triggers his or her addiction to sex.

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