Question by Chris: My 16-year-old friend was sent to intensive outpatient drug rehab & foster care for 3 months & wont see me?
He says his foster mom is very anal and wont let him hang out or call me since im in my late 20’s.

Plus, he started dating a 23-year-old ‘recovering’ crystal-meth addict he found from his group therapy. His foster mom allows that relationship but not ours. I’ve always been clean and sober.

Anyway, my friend is bi-polar, ADD, anxiety, h.s. dropout, parents never married and split, and he now works at micky dees full time.

I went to see him at his work and he basically acknowldged my presence for 5 seconds, but he wouldnt come out to talk to me. He went in the back hiding.

My question is: do you think he will contact me when he “gets out of foster care” next month or is he blowing me off because he has a new bf or some other reason?
He was only addicted to weed by the way.

Best answer:

Answer by vert.grimble
The thing is he has to get healthy before he should have any relationship. I know it hurts but if you like or love him he needs to spend 100% of his time working on himself. He needs learn to love himself first.

As for the “woman in recovery” she might help him – Addicts helping addicts – but if she knows anything about recovery she should not be leading him into a relationship.

12 step programs (AA, NA, Ca) discourage sponsors of the opposite sex and suggest having at least 1 year clean before getting in to a love relation.

Sometimes clean friends enable the addict. Try a Al-Anon meeting to better understand this and yourself. Then you can be his friend and help him. It is a baffling disease and it effects everyone around the addict.

Best of luck – I’ll say a little prayer for the two of you.

ps pot is not as dangerous as a lot of the other addictions but it can still mess a person up big time – especially if there are other mental health issues.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!