Question by Dee L: I have a drinking problem and just found out my son is smoking pot?
My question isn’t why would he do this..I was happy and amazed that he wasn’t for so long. This morning I found a ball of half burnt pot residue in his bathroom. My 1st reaction was to drive to his school, take him home and confront him..but then I realized I was not mad at him, just afraid. Who am I to talk, I drink a 6 pack almost every day to escape. I need to get help myself. Yes, I know I need to go to a program and maybe he does too, but my question is, what do I say when he gets home? I feel like I should be honest first about my own problem and that I do it to escape, but that I know it is only making things worse..then tell him I know what he’s been doing and it is understandable that he wants a means of escape, but that he has to stop..but where do I go from there? He usually stays in town on weekends with his friends as we live way out in the country and I don’t have the time or gas to drive him back and forth for just a few hours..so it seems I must ground him from hanging out with his pot smoking friends, but for how long and for what good? It will make him even more depressed and angry if I isolate him, but since he has no money, they are obviously his suppliers. Please give me some step by step direction, starting with what to say when he gets off the bus, to what to do about him going out this weekend to what to do in the future..thank you

Best answer:

Answer by j153e
Glad you’re taking steps to heal what could be a sad situation.

1-800-525-LOVE http://www.klove.com 24/7 is a helpful beginning counseling line. You can call them as much as you like.

1-800-232-6459 http://www.focusonthefamily.com M-F business hours ask for Counseling dept. will provide you with trusted (i.e., not inclined to overmedicate) counselors in your local area.

One personal opinion: you are a matured adult, and grew up in a less negative culture. Your son is experiencing a male version of substance abuse, so it may not be hormonally quite the same as your situation. Marijuana does alter (spaces out) neurosynapses, alcohol is a more temporary “fix.” The people at focusonthefamily are well versed in counseling, and you will have a single phone counseling session with them on this and related issues; then they will provide resources for you to follow up with, including counselors’ phone numbers. It might be to your advantage to have a brief list of specific questions (about alcohol programs, marijuana programs, the strong willed child, help with finances) and a pencil and paper when you make the call.

Another resource: “A Spiritual Approach to Parenting: Secrets of Raising the 21st Century Child,” Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D.

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